Quantum Jumping
At one time or another we all have to deal with difficult people.
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| The epitome of difficult -- dealing with my ex husband John B. |
The Whiner. The Victim. The Steam Roller. The Know-it-All. The Cry Baby. And let’s not forget Sarcastic Sam.
Some difficult people become Masters specializing in just one
technique – others do their damage by mixing it up. No matter what the
“technique”, most difficult people have the same goal: they crave power
and control over people and situations.
Additionally, not all difficult people you may have to deal with are
difficult all the time. For that matter, if you’re honest, it is most
likely that, with very little thought, you can conjure up a time or two
when you were a little difficult to deal with yourself.
No matter whether confronting an “always” difficult Know-it-All boss,
or an occasionally Sarcastic Sam (or Samantha) Spouse – you are not
defenseless. The following are a few suggestions for dealing with both
full and part-time difficult people.
Don’t Take it Personally
Ironically, one of the most useful techniques is not to become
defensive when defending ourselves from the damage difficult people
attempt to dish out to us. Difficult people feed on the energy of our
defensiveness. The more angry or upset we become, the more in control
the difficult person feels.
We become defensive when we take things personally. When we take
everything a difficult person is capable of dealing out personally we
become frustrated and tend to express our defensiveness via our own
negative responses such as anger or perhaps guilt.
The next time you are dealing with a difficult person focus not on
how to defend yourself – instead focus on remaining calm. Remaining
calm is a signal to the difficult person that you are not relinquishing
control. It may take quite a few “sessions” – but if this technique is
used consistently and repeatedly, the difficult person comes to
understand that you are your own person with your own power and do not
make it a practice of relinquishing control to others.
Walk a Mile in Their Moccasins
No matter how difficult a person may be, taking a moment to muster a
little empathy is huge when it comes to creating positive outcomes when
dealing with difficult people. Don’t be stingy when it comes to making
an effort to empathize with a difficult person.
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| Getting the needs met is important for curing being "DIFFICULT" |
Most difficult people
are difficult because they have needs that are either not being met or
they think aren’t being met. A sarcastic co-worker who mocks your work
may suffer from extreme insecurity. While you certainly can’t expect
difficult people to share their true
motivation for being difficult, quite often an empathetic response can help to soften their demeanor towards you.
Take Care of Yourself
Not taking it personally and showing empathy when dealing with
difficult people can be very useful. However, perhaps the most useful
technique when dealing with difficult people is creative
visualization. And, while creative visualization may be the last technique mentioned here, it is actually the
first technique to employ before attempting not taking a difficult person personally and instead attempt to show them some empathy.
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| Learning to live with negativity is never easy -- needs unmet. |
Difficult people are negative people – and it is important to protect
yourself from the negative energy difficult people throw at you. You
not only have a responsibility to attempt to come to a positive
resolution with a difficult person, your first responsibility is to
respect yourself and protect yourself from their negative energy.
Creative visualization can be a very effective means to do just that.
For instance, the next time you have to deal with your Know-it-All
boss visualize yourself placing a bullet (and negativity) proof wall
between you. Starting your day by visualizing yourself surrounded by a
protective bubble or aura is also very powerful. Or perhaps you
visualize yourself as King or Queen and are protected by a moat
surrounding the thick walls of your castle.
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| Me and Gary |
The very practice of visualizing you are protected from difficult
people creates the positive energy necessary to deal with difficult
people effectively.
Images @ Eminpee Fotography
