Happy Birthday Jesse, I wish I could say this to you in person. I wish I could at least send you a card. I don't know where you live and no one will tell me.
I miss your smell and I miss your spirit so badly. I just hold a vision of you in my mind and that helps me to transverse this gorge of sadness. I listen to songs you used to like and I hear you in these.
Today always brings me to thoughts of your birth as it always has done. Thirty six long hours of labor and you were finally born at 11.32pm on the 19/09/88. I had been in labor since the previous evening around 6pm.I absolutely loved giving birth to you and I loved growing you in my tummy and into the human being that you have grown into. What a man you are now, and such a good looking young man at that. I am very proud of you, and I forget all the bad stuff. I don't remember anymore. This is what I must do. I love you forever.
Have a wonderful birthday, I hope you get spoiled by Chelsea and who ever else is around you in your life. Love mumma xxx
Images @ Melonpopzdropz Flickr
There is probably other things going on, but for me today the day is for Jesse. I will just hold the thoughts of him close in my mind , try and smell birthday candles / Eeeek the smell - they remind me of birthdays though.
It is such a nice day today after last nights storm made it all fresh.
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